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After careful deliberation (and a drawing of straws), Zahra and Pat decided to send Pat beyond The Tower and the Last City to interview some of the creatures of the destiny wilderness.


Hello Miss…Omnigul. Given the release of Destiny’s new expansion tomorrow, how does the Hive feel about the impending influx of new Guardians?

Care to comment?

*Incoherant screeching followed by the summoning of thralls*

Oh I see you have your own PR team! Can we please get a statement from Miss Omnigul on the incom-…why are you biting me? Please stop gnawing on my arm.


Phew. Sepiks, you are a hard machine to get to. Did you know that? I had to blow up a Devil Walker just to get some alone time with you.

*Hovers ominously*

As the Exalted Servitor to the House of Devil’s, would you care to give a statement as to how you and your fellow fallen plan to deal with new players when Destiny’s expansion launches tomorrow?

…*twitches and begins to glow*

Ahhhh. The Ol’ twitch-and-charge-a-death-beam maneuver. You know some people say you’re predictable, but I’m a fan of the classics. You can stop charging it now…Sepiks?…Uh oh.

Pat hasn’t been seen or heard from in a while. Luckily NovaStream had him categorised under an expendable unit contract. At least we still have Zahra to keep you up to date on all the Destiny news right here on NovaStream.

P.S No Pat’s were harmed in the making of this parody article.

About The Author

Pat Braithwaite

IT analyst by day, mad scientist vigilante by night; the darkness is his only friend. One day a freak accident teleported him to an alternate transient dimension where he spends his days trying to piece himself back together on a molecular level and save the woman he loves... Meanwhile, in the real world... Pat is a 26 year old freelance writer that spends most of his days working as an IT Consultant or dabbling in all things Pop-culture and Gaming.

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