After the release of Materialists in June, 2025 seems to be the year of Dakota Johnson in love triangles. However, the situation the characters in Splitsville find themselves in is less of a love triangle and more of a disorderly love octagon, if that’s a thing? Needless to say, just like the film’s poster says, Splitsville is most definitely an un-romantic comedy.
On the way to visit their wealthy friends Julie (Johnson) and Paul (Michael Angelo Covino) in the Hamptons for a vacation, married gym team Carey (Kyle Marvin) and life-coach Ashley (Adria Arjona) have a near-death experience while on the road. Shaken, Ashley asks Carey for a divorce, after contemplating it for some time. Unable to deal with the predicament in front of him, he runs (quite literally, as you’ll see in the film) to Paul and Julie for support. While comforting Carey, the couple reveal that they have an open marriage, which is the secret to their relationship being successful. This leads to a heartbroken Carey deciding to sleep with Julie, who assumes Paul will be okay with this. Turns out, Paul is most definitely not okay with this, and as a result, all of their relationships are thrown into mayhem. Inspired by Julie and Paul, Ashley becomes polyamorous, leaving Carey to befriend all the men (and women) she brings home. Meanwhile, Carey and Julie grow closer as Julie contemplates leaving the financially crooked Paul.
If there is one word to perfectly describe Splitsville, it is chaos. Pure and utter chaos. The entirety of the film follows these ethically questionable characters as they make endlessly terrible decisions, and the result is wildly entertaining. The mess they find themselves in continues to grow and become more and more ridiculous and implausible (in a good way), earning laughs left, right and centre. The cast here are on fire and revel in the dysfunction of it all, with Marvin being a standout as Carey, who is the most endearing and good-natured of the lot. Johnson and Arjona deliver some of their best work, but it’s Michael Angelo Covino who deserves a shoutout as the film’s director, while also effectively portraying Paul as an absolute jerk. While the dialogue is a highlight, some of the film’s best comedic moments come in the form of physical comedy, and surprisingly, feature fish. When Paul finds out Carey slept with Julie, the two have an epic fight that sprawls throughout his holiday home, which eventually turns into a rescue mission after the pair break Paul’s son Russ’s (Simon Webster’s) giant fish tank. Later on, Julie, Carey and Russ ride a rollercoaster at a carnival, where Carey is forced to carry multiple bags of new fish that Russ has won. Expectedly, the fish don’t make it through the ride. It is totally outrageous moments like these that make Splitsville so memorable and genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. The film also boasts an array of hugely enjoyable supporting characters, such as Ashley’s many lovers and a mentalist who performs at children’s birthday parties played by Nicholas Braun.
Splitsville is one eventful romp worth seeking out. It’s not conventional or morally satisfying, and some viewers may find it hard to empathise with the characters. However, Splitsville is best enjoyed if you just embrace the chaos of it all.
