AND MRS is a high concept comedy drama about an Irish woman living in London whose American fiancé dies shortly before their wedding day. At the encouragement of the fiancé’s free-spirited sister – and for a host of her own, emotionally complex reasons – the-bride-to-be decides to go ahead and marry him anyway, but has to overcome public opinion, the law and even her own family’s objections before she can.
Currently playing across Australia at the British Film Festival, And Mrs. director, Daniel Reisinger, took the time before his Brisbane premiere of the film to chat with Nick L’Barrow about the universal feeling that is grief, his personal connection to the film’s themes, and finding comedy within the hard times we face as people.
Nick: As much as I can, I try to go into movies as blind as possible to the concept. And within the first five minutes of your film, I figured I was going to be sad for the next two hours! However, the way you find levity in these darker moments really made for a charming and heartfelt, and quite funny film.
Daniel Reisinger: Oh, man. That’s really nice of you to say that about the tone. I mean, the whole thing started with Melissa [Bubnic]. I had just made my first sitcom in LA, and I got a call one day from my best mate in Melbourne telling me there’s a writer coming over to LA. So, it was like ‘Alright, I’ll have brunch with yet another Aussie writer coming to LA’ [laughs].
But she rocked up with a bottle of Prosecco, and we were munted by 11am. My wife and I fell in love with her. And as she left, she asked if we would read her feature script. I was such a patronising dickhead. ‘Oh, sure, I’ll read your script for you’. So, I sat in bed that night, and we were talking about how much we loved Melissa, and I figured I’d just read the first couple of pages. And it starts as this cheesy rom-com, but then by page five – spoiler alert – he carcks it. And I turned to my wife and said, ‘What the fuck just happened?’
I devoured the entire script that night, and I laughed my arse off, and I bawled my eyes out. I wanted to produce it and direct it. So, Melissa introduced me to Dan Hine, who is a BAFTA winner. And we all really connected over this phone call.
However, before this meeting, I had the worst phone call of my life. Like, even today… I get emotional when I start thinking about it. But my mum told me – man, I’ve told this story so many times. I think I’m just a bit teary today! She had a rare form of dementia called FTD, which is the one Bruce Wills has. And that’s a death sentence, and it ultimately became one for mum.
So, when the script came to me, it was at a time where I had my first real taste of grief in life. It’s like it had ripped something open inside of me and made me more emotional. As you would know, growing up in Australia, for boys and men, it’s all about having ‘a spoon of cement’ and hardening up. Don’t be fucking soft. But, in that moment, you can’t run from it.
I lost my mum in January 2022…
Nick: I’m sorry to hear that, mate.
Daniel Reisinger: Thanks, mate. It’s the worst fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s devastating. It wrecks you. The one person who’s given you life, who’s created you, is suddenly gone.
Then a week later, I got a call from Universal to say the film was greenlit. And I made an absolute tit of myself on the call! I sobbed. I lost it. I couldn’t stop crying. But it always felt like mum, for me, it really integrally related in the film, and that’s something all the cast and crew have in common. We had this unfortunate bond of grief.
My star, Aisling Bea, has this beautiful column she wrote for The Guardian about how losing her father at a young age made her basically become a clown to lighten the mood at home. Colin Hanks, who is Tom Hanks’ son, lost his mum in his early 20s, and just prior to filming, lost his best mate. And we all know Billie Lourd’s story about how she lost her mum, Carrie Fisher, you know, Princess Leia, and her grandmother, Debbie Reynolds, within 48 hours of each other.
And with the crew, Matt Villa, an Oscar nominated editor lost his parents and brother in quick succession. The DP, Murren Tullett, lost his mum a year before filming. So, we all really came together with a mission, which was to rip the band aid off, put an arm around your shoulder, and admit that this sucks. It’s the worst thing that’s ever going to happen to you, but it’s a part of life, and you’re going to get through it. And you’re allowed to laugh.
I know when I lost my mum, I tried to watch a couple of grief films, and they all really underplayed the humour. But I just wanted to laugh my arse off. I wanted something that was genuinely balls to the wall funny. And even when it came to finding the tone of this film, my touchstone was Muriel’s Wedding.
What Muriel’s Wedding did so beautifully, and that hopefully we did as well, was go from really rowdy humour that’s really accessible for people, like Toni Collette sees a dick for the first time, and she’s laughing hysterically, then all of a sudden, Rachel Griffiths’ collapses to the ground and suddenly she’s paralysed for life. I wanted to be able to say with this film, that you’re allowed to laugh, and no one can tell you how to fucking grieve. That it’s your choice. It’s weird, it’s idiosyncratic. Do it however you want.
Nick: That is an incredible journey but thank you for sharing all of that so vulnerably, man. I appreciate that very much. With this film in particular, and your quite personal connection to its themes, I’m curious to know what interested you more from a storytelling perspective – was it the premise itself, or how the characters drive the narrative?
Daniel Reisinger: I mean, it was definitely both. I love rom-coms. What’s better than love and laughter? That’s all I want in a movie [laughs]. But, also, I’ve been looking at doing a feature for a long time, and it’s a huge investment of your life trying to get a film made. If you’re going to do it, you have to act like you will die to get it made. I’ve been attached to a lot of films, but I never really felt like they were stories I would die to tell.
When I read this, it just spoke to me. I felt like I could say something personal, while not having written it, which felt very unique to me. I felt like I could twist the genre in an interesting way.
The character of Gemma, and I don’t think Melissa would kill me for saying this… but Gemma is Melissa. She’s so cynical, but at the same time so sweet and wonderful. So, I just fell in love with Gemma. And then I fell in love with Billie Lourd’s character. Melissa just wrote so many great characters. But that’s what great writing is, right? It should be great characters, and a really interesting concept.
Nick: There is a saying I heard from a filmmaker a few years ago that I loved, and I love asking other filmmakers about it, especially on film that feels this personal. But he mentioned that storytelling to him is about making it feel universal through being specific. And the specificity of this film is how Gemma goes through her grief, but also these cultural clashes of people from the UK and the US approaching death in these different ways, whilst being told through the lens of an Aussie director and writer! I’m curious to know whether you’ve ever thought about the idea of universality through specificity when it comes to storytelling?
Dan Reisinger: Yeah, that’s a great point. I mean, Melissa did so much of the heavy lifting in terms of the specificity. She wrote all of the locations into the original script. East London is basically a character of the film. And we shot parts of the film at Melissa’s flat in London, and we had a rule that we wouldn’t shoot locations that were more than a kilometre from the flat, so it felt like it added this depth of feeling genuine.
But, you know, what made it really universal is that everyone knows these characters. And unfortunately, grief is a universal experience. Grief, love, family. They’re big universal themes. They’re big-ticket items. Yeah, it’s a great question.
Thank you so much to Daniel for his time, and to Palace Cinemas and ChatterBox PR for organising the interview. And Mrs. is currently playing at the British Film Festival across Australia, from November 6 – December 8. Find out more details and session times at https://britishfilmfestival.com.au/
