Five Bonds For Five Days

Spectre is released in Australia today, yay! I mean, it’s too weeks and a half weeks behind the release in the UK and a week behind the US release but yay none the less. If you are anything like me, you may find yourself getting a little obsessed with the world of Bond for a couple of days. Generally, the rule of thumb for any obsession is about five days before I revert back to Doctor Who. It all really depends on whether Spectre lives up to the unbelievable spectacle that was Skyfall. Spectre may become a passing shadow in the night and if that is the case then you can always improve your memory of everyone’s favourite tech savy, chauvinistic, murderous British hero with a fine selection of the 50 year, Eon back catalogue. So here, accurate to the release of their respective films is a summary of five Bonds (not the undies) for those five days.

Name: Daniel Craig  2720
Nationality: English
Height: 5’10”
Hair colour: Dirty blonde
Eye colour: Blue
Weight: 72.6 kgs
Age of first appearance: 38
Number of appearances: 4
Best film: Skyfall
Worst film: Casino Royale/Quantam Of Solace (I know my opinion is very controversial so Quantam Of Solace is there for everyone else)
Interesting fact: Daniel Craig is the first actor to portray James Bond to have been born after the Bond series started, and after the death of Ian Fleming, the novels’ writer.
Best quote: “Some men are coming to kill us. We’re going to kill them first.”

The only Bond not to give a damn about his martini’s preparation, I must stress that Daniel Craig is nothing amazing in these films, rather the scripts are the real heroes. Craig is a good fit to the menacing, selfish, sexist character of Bond but I think I could do without the pouting. Still, it is very hard to go past Skyfall, a film that won’t let your mind ponder the plot for too long before something explodes or car chase kicks off. When he was offered the role, Craig announced that he wanted to make the character more emotional, a plan, I think he failed. The scripts however did add more depth to the character and unfortunately with Craig’s performances, I feel anyone could step into that role and do an adequate job.

 2710Name: Sean Connery
Nationality: Scottish
Height: 6′ 2½”
Hair colour: Brown
Eye colour: Brown
Weight: 86.2 kgs
Age of first appearance: 32
Number of appearances: 6/7 on a technicality
Best film: Goldfinger
Worst film: Diamonds Are Forever
Interesting fact: Ian Fleming initial disliked Connery as a choice for Bond but after seeing the premiere of Dr. No he was so impressed, he created a half-Scottish, half-Swiss heritage for Bond in the later novels.
Best quote: “Bond, James Bond.” (the original and the best)

When anyone ever mentions Bond, at least half the room will slip into various different Connery impressions. Fifty years on and this is a very impressive feat. Connery is everything Bond should be, suave, subtle, intelligent and a great leading man. All of the staples of the Bond films were born with Connery, the Martini, the catchphrase, the gadgets and the action. Best of all, he makes you feel as if this just another day at the office for Bond, casually killing a man in cold blood with a cigarette barely hanging out of his mouth.

Name: Roger Moore 258570
Nationality: English
Height: 6’2”
Hair colour: Brown
Eye colour: Blue
Weight: 79.4 kgs
Age of first appearance: 45
Number of appearances: 7
Best film: The Spy Who Loved Me
Worst film: A View To Kill
Interesting fact: In 2004 Moore was voted ‘Best Bond’ in an Academy Awards poll, and he won with 62% of votes in 2008.
Best quote: “Which bullet has my name on it? The first or the last?

Who could be more suited to the character of James Bond than a person who’s name literally describes his favourite hobby? The eldest of all the actors to play Bond and with that age comes a more confident, wise and respectable character. Moore played a very different Bond to the previous few and brought a new humour to the character. Depending on who you talk to, that can either be a good or a bad thing but there is no denying that he stuck in our minds.

27470Name: George Lazenby
Nationality: Australian
Height: 6’1”
Hair colour: Black
Eye colour: Brown
Weight: 84.4 kgs
Age of first appearance: 29
Number of appearances: 1
Best film: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Worst film: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (another technicality)
Interesting fact: George Lazenby met the film’s producer, Albert R. Broccoli as the two were getting their hair cut at the same barber and this meeting eventually led to Lazenby being cast as the next Bond.
Best quote: “This never happened to the other fellow.”

It’s pretty hard to go past the only Australian Bond in the list. Although, like David Prowse in Star Wars, he was dubbed over in the film, Lazenby delivers the perfect performance of Bond. Lazenby is much more happy-go-lucky than most of the other Bonds, delivering every line with a smile and he arguably plays the most likeable version of the character. Apparently Broccoli and crew wouldn’t take any of Lazenby’s suggestions on board and told him to keep quiet and do what he was told, this lead to his decision to step down from the role. Unfortunately due to this short stint, Lazenby often gets forgotten amongst the other actors and I always think he deserves more recognition.

Name: Pierce Brosnan 270
Nationality: Irish
Height: 6’1½”
Hair colour: Brown
Eye colour: Blue
Weight: 74.4 kgs
Age of first appearance: 38
Number of appearances: 4
Best film: GoldenEye (if only for the N64 game)
Worst film: The World Is Not Enough
Interesting fact: Pierce Brosnan was offered the role of Bond before Timothy Dalton but had to decline due to contract issues with Remington Steele.
Best quote: “Governments change. The lies stay the same.”

For some reason, I have always felt as if there was something just a little off with Brosnan. Whether it be his squinty eyes, the character he played in Mrs. Doubtfire or just the fact that I always get him confused with Mr. Sheffield from The Nanny, Brosnan is a tough nut to crack. He nonetheless does a great job as Bond, though somewhat overshadowed by Halle Berry. The only Bond I ever knew as a child gets special preference in my book, even if I did think James Bond was as boring as all hell back then.

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