Relationships… marriage… friendship… all things that rely on one thing to survive and thrive – honest communication.
In dramedy You Hurt My Feelings, Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is a writer and professor who has been working on her first novel for years now (after having a successful autobiography released years earlier), often looking for feedback and advice from her husband, Don (Tobias Menzies). Don’s feedback is amicable, constantly letting Beth know that he likes it and thinks she’s doing a great job.
Don is a therapist who is finding himself in a rut at work. Unable to focus or correctly recollect patient information, even confusing things patients have told him with other patients’ issues. Don is struggling to find solutions on how to assist his patients’ problems, often to the angered disappointment of those he helps.
But, the relationship between Beth and Don seems healthily co-dependant from the outside. They’re supportive of each other’s careers, and overly supportive of their son who also has aspirations of being a writer while making ends meet at a weed store. Oftentimes, Beth gets called out by her son for being a constant champion of his success without really giving constructive criticism of his work and life choices.
That is until Beth unexpectedly overhears Don harshly criticising her novel manuscript to a close friend in a department store, going as far as saying that it is not good at all. Deciding not to reveal to Don that she overheard him, the betrayal felt by Beth begins to unravel what they both thought was a perfect relationship, and shows how the power of a little white lies we all say in relationships can manifest into larger problems.
Writer and director Nicole Holofcener has built a renowned and astounding filmography on finding the humour and absurdity in life’s smallest intricacies, while also examining the emotions that drive humans to react in a multitude of different ways to those intricacies, no matter how big or small they are in the grand scheme of the universe. Holfcener’s ability to construct entire scenes of dialogue, where visually we’re just shown two people talking over a dinner table, that feel so in-depth and engaging is genius screenwriting, but also shows a filmmaker whose compassionate interest and understanding of human emotion makes for entertaining movies.
The chemistry of Holofcener’s dialogue and Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ performance are a match made in heaven. The two reunite after their previous collaboration in 2014s Enough Said is a welcomed return to the screen. Louis-Dreyfus’ take on the New York writer with one successful book so well, that it lends to a lot of the film’s humour. But the underlying need for validation, especially from the person she has trusted the most her whole life, gives the necessary vulnerability for Beth to be entirely relatable to anyone who watches this film.
Don, plus the supporting characters all have fully fleshed out arcs and narratives, making You Hurt My Feelings world feel substance filled. The way these characters interact with each other, and with every single word having meaning to the plot, gives a theatre like tone to the film. The performances from Menzies, Owen Teague, Michaela Watkins and Arian Moayed are full realised and are all worthy of praise.
Serving as one of the film’s main strengths, the idea of how a white lie can unravel the trust in a partner never goes over the top in You Hurt My Feelings. There is no unrealistic ramifications that lead to the Hollywood tendency of having a completely insane consequence of the lie, but Holofcener’s authentic take on the matter and the grounded nature of her film allows the audience to come into the story at their own level, and find solace, humour and maybe even heartache due to the self-reflective nature of the narrative. The naturally unfolding plausibility of everything that occurs in this film is never a detriment to its ability to still be an entertaining story.
You Hurt My Feelings is a perfect mix of a fantastic, intricate screenplay in which the pitch perfect dialogue is brought to life by outstanding performances, especially from Julia Louis-Dreyfus. The humour and heartache of relationships will undoubtedly be a self-reflective experience for some audiences, but that’s what makes this movie so special.
